after all this time...I still haven't found my place

Kind of hard
Hard to see
When you crawl
On your hands and your knees
With your face
In the trough
Wait your turn
While they finish you off
Don't know when it started
Don't know how
Should have found out
Should have happened by now
Got these lines
On my face
After all this time
And i still haven't found my place

I jump from every rooftop
So high so far to fall
I feel a million miles away
I don't feel any thing at all

I wake up
On the floor
Start it up again
Like it matters anymore
I don't know
If it does
Is this really all
That there ever was?
Put the gun
In my mouth
Close your eyes
Blow my f**king brains out
Pretty patterns
On the floor
That's enough for you
But i still need more

I jump from every rooftop
So high so far to fall
I feel a million miles away
I don't feel any thing at all